I had every intention of writing this week’s drivel on my disappointment with our community that not one single April Fool’s Day prank was attempted on the general public.
I made a futile stab at it with last week’s Drivel, but I didn’t see one single public display of an April Fool’s Day prank.
There were no torso-less Key Deer heads poking over the fences on US 1. There were no new controversial businesses coming to town. There was no clothing optional resort, nobody tried to sell the Blue Hole, no one tried to put a boat-up McDonald’s at the old swimming hole.
All in all it was just another boring holiday, and I was extremely disappointed.
But just before I sat down to write this piece this week, I got sidetracked with one of my favorite pastimes, which is watching what I call the “Detroit iron foxtrot.”
Monroe County, Florida and the US Government have spent so much time ignoring true infrastructure needs in the last decade that the repair of that infrastructure has now become what might be an insurmountable number.
The state of federal travel infrastructure, highways, bridges and waterways, has gotten to the point where we no longer ask the question “Will it fail?” but rather we ask the question “When will it fail?”
In the Keys, that question should spark immediate concerns.
After all, we have but one road in and out of here, a federal highway, maintained by the state, that is only connected from end to end because of 42 bridges.
The majority of those bridges are either approaching, or have surpassed, their initial expected life span. And we know something has to be done.
But we haven’t yet seen the political will at the federal and state level in this environment of cut-expenses-at-any-cost to move forward on protecting the millions of motorists who use aging roads and bridges.
And that cost will be lives.
In five days, it will be that most dastardly of holidays.
It will be April 1. April Fool’s Day. The day of mischief and mayhem.
In year’s past, my community has pulled some very good pranks for April Fool’s Day.
And there have been years where the pranks have fallen flat. There have also been years where there were no pranks.
Those were disappointing years.
It appears that the anti-science crowd is becoming more and more determined to ensure that Florida youth have absolutely no dog in the fight when it comes to actual knowledge in the field of science.
The state Legislature is currently contemplating a change in the distribution of school dollars that will allow for a bigger percentage of those dollars to go toward faith-based schools, particularly those that teach creationism as a part of the science curriculum.
For the last two decades American students have been falling behind the rest of the civilized/industrial world at an alarming rate because we fail to fund education at the levels necessary to keep our students in the top ranges of the basics…math, science and reading.
In an ever-increasing technological world, advanced by scientific breakthroughs, not realizing that science is the way to keep pace with the future is short-sighted at best.
As if I didn’t have enough reasons to dislike cats, the cat that has been adopted by our commercial strip has given me more.
I don’t know if I’ve ever fully explained my aversion to cats. The reasons are many.
The Monroe Board of County Commissioners Wednesday decided not to endorse a pedestrian cross walk on US 1 about a quarter-mile west of the traffic light.
The commissioners were concerned that they were asking the Florida Department of Transportation to unilaterally change the face of traveling on Big Pine Key without enough public input.
The idea originated through a request from Big Pine Academy for a school zone to heighten safety for the children who walk to school every day during the school year.
Our annual paddleboat races are set to go in just under a month, Saturday, April 12. This is an event you’d pay to see if you had to, but since you don’t you really need to come out to Looe Key and watch.
Sponsored every year by the Big Pine and Lower Keys Rotary Club and the News-Barometer, with prizes offered up by local eateries and liquor stores, the Paddleboat Pursuit is just plain fun.
We give racers a very minimal amount of materials to build a wooden boat powered by paddle wheels, which are in turn powered by human muscle.
The creativity that goes into the design of these boats is amazing.
Where do we draw the line in allowing gun-toting hot heads to fire off a shot anywhere they wish with no regard for the safety of the rest of the world?
The Florida Legislature is currently considering making it legal to fire a warning shot during the “Stand Your Ground” process. The thought, of course, is that the warning shot will make the intruder, assailant, racially profiled, hated person at the other end of the gun sight run for cover and take you out of harm’s way.
That warning shot, however, is not bound by any rules. It can be fired into the air.
The only thing sure about that warning shot is that once the bullet leaves the barrel of the gun, the shooter has absolutely no control over where it comes to rest.
And there we have an inherent danger.
Sometimes, the last thing anyone wants to do in the morning is drive to work. Even if, like us, you only live a few miles away. No matter the distance, driving to work can be a real pain in the behind, and unless you have something else to do, very boring.
As I drove to work this morning, I had no reason to fear boredom, for I soon discovered that I had front row seats to my own traveling road show.
Okay. We’re trying to get a handle on the situation here, and thus far have failed to find a logical link between the two actions. Let us explain a little bit.
Florida Gov. Rick Scott has made it a priority to raise premiums for windstorm insurance policy holders around the state to protect Citizens Insurance, the state-run and state-owned insurer of last resort in Florida.
Scott has actively lobbied the insurance giant, and even removed board appointees who didn’t see eye-to-eye with his philosophy, to raise premiums to bolster the $6 billion bank account the insurer had when he took office three years ago.
His first move was to allow the insurer to raise rates. The second move was to order that the company divest itself of policies, even going so far as to give part of that surplus to private insurers willing to cherry pick only the safest policies.
That logic escapes us.