Another from the files of the strange but true, can’t-believe-this-could-happen, department. That department, by the way, is located just off your left shoulder, in a land parallel to our own, in a place called The Twilight…. oops.
I made the mistake of trying to stop by the grocery store last week during rush hour. We all know when rush hour is at the grocery store. The 4,500 of us on this island who have to work for a living get off work, need a thing or two for dinner, and drop by the store to get it.
There are two hundred cars in the parking lot, nowhere to park except the last slot in the puddle still there from the last rain. There are four cashiers in the store and 1,000 customers. Now, these numbers may be exaggeration, but the impression is dead on.
There is very little limit these days on the ways folks can use to communicate with one another virtually whenever the need or the mood strikes them, particularly for government agencies who usually get the best of the latest toys on the taxpayer dime.
Land line phones still exist, cell phones are common place, email is readily available, web sites are accessible, teleconferencing is becoming old hat, smart phones can send and retrieve data at will, and if all else fails, the highway still goes two directions.
Thanksgiving often brings out the monster in all of us.
We all have one. We have that little demon inside of us that thinks how cool it would be just to, just once, be able to hack something up for the fun of it, and then have people thank you for it in the end.
I think that’s what turkey carving is all about.
You have to liken turkey carving to one of the dozens of serial killers you’ve read about, or watched movies about.
It seems that most ritualistic serial killers have some body part, or numerous body parts, that appeal to them more than any other.
Turkey carving, however, gives you the opportunity to put all those morbid thoughts into one sustained action that is both socially acceptable and therapeutic.
Wednesday the Monroe Board of County Commissioners will be asked whether to quadruple permit fees to the final properties to get hooked into state-mandated wastewater treatment plants.
Currently Monroe County charges $70 for the permit to construct the sewer lateral line that will hook a home into the sewer pipe in the street.
That permit requires initial review by a plumbing inspector, and between three and five inspections along the way to get to the final and have the line hooked into the street pipe.
Chuck it, or don’t chuck it: A question we all face
I’m still trying to convince myself why I need a cell phone.
Of all the modern conveniences that have come down the pike in the last two decades, I think the cell phone is the most onerous and potentially hazardous.
With absolutely no offense intended to the world’s most beloved cartoon mouse, it’s high time for the Washington, DC-based Mickey Mouse Club to close up shop.
It’s high time for the cut-at-all-costs; except defense, corporate welfare, high-income earners and Congressional perks; wingnuts to step aside and let the big boys and girls get on with restoring America for Americans.
We have finally reached my favorite holiday.
I guess my personal liking for Halloween started as a result of my formative years being spent in staid and stuffy southwest Ohio. If you grew your hair too long, wore your shorts too short, drove too slow-or fast, or did anything else a little different from everyone else, you were considered weird.
I now wear that badge proudly. And live somewhere that the moniker isn’t immediately a resort to cross-eyed looks and rolled-back eyes.
Halloween, you see, was the great equalizer.
When everybody was in costume, we were all different. When we were all different, we were all the same.
Or something like that.
Over the next six to eight months, local conservation groups, county staff and staff from the National Key Deer Refuge will be meeting several times to discuss future management strategies for the further recovery of the endangered Key Deer.
Human hunting, with some help from Mother Nature, in the 1950s had dwindled the size of the Key Deer herd to less than 50 animals and their continued survival was in question.
In 1957, the Key Deer Refuge was formed, hunting was banned, and the herd slowly began to recover.
About 15 years ago, refuge consultants put the number of Key Deer on Big Pine and No Name Key at about 750.
We believed that we had seen the passing of the guard in our neighborhood.
Where once we were inundated daily with Key Deer and nightly with raccoons, in the last year or so we have been inundated daily with Key Deer and nightly with opossums.
Opossums, I believe, are a more aggressive species than raccoons, so I, in my twisted way, have been envisioning little gangs of opossums trampling through the woods and undergrowth around our neighborhood, terrorizing smaller gangs of raccoons, convincing them that this was no longer the best hunting grounds for the ring-eyed ones.
I could envision a circle of opossums with a cowering raccoon in the middle getting the word in not-so-subtle terms this particular area full of treat-laden trash cans continually refilled with goodies by the two-leggers was no longer a raccoon haven.
After the lecture, I could envision a cowered raccoon taking off for parts unknown, deeper into the woods where the pickin’s aren’t quite so easy, but at least there aren’t marauding bands of opossums to worry about.
We had found opossums in our trash cans, in our trash container, romping around in the back yard, and taking over the street.
But our thinking is about to change I believe.
Now that we have learned just how bad the future can be with regards to flood insurance in the Keys, it’s time for our leadership to step up and take a hand in finding a solution.
There are more than 8,000 homes in Monroe County that have the possibility of being adversely affected by the recent federal decision to try and make the National Flood Insurance Program more self-sustaining by raising rates on current policy holders.