It’s been such a wonderful ride

Today marks 10 years that Holly and I have been married. I guess when I say that it seems like yesterday, that means the relationship is still good, still fun, still strong. And it is all those things.

So Happy Anniversary my wench.

What never ceases to amaze me, however, is the number of people I get who actually complain when I write nice things about my wife. It’s not a huge number, maybe three or four, but even that number saddens me quite a bit.

Of course, I realize there are some mean-spirited people in the world who just can’t have a good day unless they’re moaning and complaining about something, and I realize also that I make a very high-profile target for that moaning and complaining.

That doesn’t make it any the less saddening, however.

I for one have always been very happy for people who find ways to be happy in this world. There are a lot of things today that work against happiness, and to overcome them is no small feat for anyone.

I have always been impressed by the elderly couple strolling down the street holding hands, or walking arm in arm together. To have a relationship still that close after what is probably a good number of years is impressive to me, and I am happy for them.

The last thing I would ever do is berate that couple in any way. They have managed to do what two-thirds of the rest of the country hasn’t figured out how to do. That makes them impressive people in my book.

It saddens me to see couples who appear at the same event and sit at different locations, or show up at the same entertainment spot and hang out with different crowds. It seems to me there can’t be a lot of happiness or strength in that relationship.

I want to look forward to each day for the rest of my natural life with the same enthusiasm that I had 10 years ago. I want to wait impatiently for the end of every hectic day for the time we get to spend in quiet reflection of our lives together. I never want to lose the urge to just call and talk when we’re not together, or to write mushy little notes and leave them lying around where they’ll be found, or to make the dinner plate and carry it to her.

Those are the things that make life fun for me.

Yes, I like to go places and do things. I love to sing. I love to spend days on the water. I love to bask in the sunshine.

But those are all experiences. They are not relationships. Experiences have an element of excitement, an element of fun, an element of danger, intrigue or fright. They have a mixture of many of the things that get our blood pumping and tell us we’re still alive. But they don’t have a common bond with another soul.

And that is the true measure of fun.

People tell me that as I get older, the years will seem to pass by more quickly. That may be true.

But perhaps there is another way to look at this.

Maybe the years sweep so swiftly by because we want to jam everything we can into them, especially those of us who got a late start on true happiness. Some of us have a lot of lost time to make up for, and there just isn’t enough time in every year to make up for that. I doubt there’s enough time left to the end of my life to make up for that, but I really don’t want to give up the quest.

I’m having way too much fun.

This year, our life changed in a very dramatic way. Of our six kids between us, we knew there would be at least one that just couldn’t cut the mustard as a responsible adult. The law of averages was against us on that one.

Six months ago, we were awarded custody of one of our 11 grandchildren because his parents were, well, for lack of a nicer thing to say, unable to understand that with adulthood comes responsibility.

Wow, did things change. But for us, this is just another challenge to overcome, another experience from which we can learn and grow and get closer as a couple.

I guess the way we look at things is different from the way others look at them. Neither of us have made perfect decisions in our former lives, nor do we make them now, but every decision is tainted by a mutual love and respect, an unbreakable bond that perhaps only we understand.

And that’s OK.

And for those of you who think that saying nice things about someone special in your life is a waste of time, space and ink, I can only say…I’m sorry.

As for me, I’m still having way too much fun.

Happy Anniversary wench.

And may we have dozens more.

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One Response to “It’s been such a wonderful ride”

Comments

1. Mark and Mary Geiyer Jan 02 2010 / 9pm

   Hello Steve and Holly,

   Congratulations on the 10th anniversary.

   We miss all of you in the Keys and look forward to coming back for a visit. You may remember us–we are friends of Gene and Hazel Hartman and had the great fortune to spend two winters on the Keys, thanks to Gene and Hazel and Jim Moore. We were very sad to hear of Jim’s passing in December. Spending that time and meeting great people were a dream come true for both of us.

   By the way—we still owe you at least one dinner. Thanks

   Mark and Mary Geiyer