When is the right time to ditch the cell phone?

I’m beginning to think that cell phones are an invention that should have never been allowed to enter the human brain.

I understand the ability it gives one to remain in touch with the world where ever we may be, and that this is most times a good thing.

I understand the ability a cell phone gives one to stay connected with the world through mobile internet access, text messaging, voice calling, voice mail, picture taking and sending and so much more.

But understanding all that doesn’t change my mind that these things should have remained forever on the drawing board.

I can remember when (and I know this dates me) once you were on the road you were out of touch until you arrived at your next destination and could get to a telephone.

This allowed for such luxuries as sleeping on the bus, taking a nap in the passenger seat, reading a book uninterrupted while waiting to get to the next stop, or even just carrying on a conversation—yep, that dastardly thing called human interaction.

Now, you hit the road and the phone rings. It’s always an emergency. It’s not an emergency I can do anything about because I’m usually miles away, but someone just knows I have to know about this and I have to know right now.

Wrong.

I hit the road and someone sends me a text message. I don’t have texting capability on my phone, but the damn things come through anyway. So I read it out of courtesy, but I don’t answer, because I can’t, which always leads to yet another text message.

Then I get the email, which I can’t retrieve because I don’t want that capability that makes me readily accessible 24 hours a day, seven days a week. And I get another one, which pops up in my inbox the next day when I’m sitting in front of the computer.

And that in turn leads to an actual phone call so the person so adamant about reaching me can hear me say that I can’t respond to text messages or read email while on the road because I’m too cheap to purchase those services.

Actually, I don’t want those services, but it makes the caller feel better about themselves if I just say I’m too cheap.

Many times I have sat in on meetings that were vitally important to the audience only to have those in charge spend the entire meeting answering phone calls, texting someone about something that usually has nothing to do with where we are or why we’re there, reading and answering emails, or giggling at the newest picture of their one-year old niece from Alaska.

Rude.

And then there are the folks who live by their cell phone. Without that device they would have absolutely no idea why they were alive.

They get a call, call four more people to repeat the conversation, text 20 people about the conversation and check their responses by email so they can call the original caller and tell them what their committee of people with no stake in the affair had to say about what started as a private conversation.

I call that stupid. But then, who am I?

And then, we have the “Do it all while driving” crowd. It was bad enough when all bad drivers had to concern themselves with was talking on the phone. Now, they have to figure out how to text with just one hand, or drive with body parts not meant for the evolution. They have to learn how to stick their phone face with a plastic pen to open and check electronic mails while steering the vehicle and watching the road with one eye. They must answer text messages while checking electronic mail and talking to a fourth party so they won’t get that dreaded call that says, “Why haven’t you answered my (pick one)?”

I generally haven’t answered because I prefer driving in solitude to finding out that cousin Charlie fell and bumped his head while drunk last Saturday—from nine different folks.

I generally haven’t answered because I won’t text while driving, or check electronic mail while driving, or even carry on an extended conversation about nothing while driving.

It gets so bad these days, with everyone believing they have unlimited access to you at any time day or night, that sometimes I just ?get ready for this—you’ll be shocked—don’t faint—turn off the phone.

I know some day I will be vilified, hung in effigy, get my eyeballs gouged out for doing something so un-American, blasphemous and downright rude as not taking that call from aunt Helen to let me know that cousin Charlie won’t be able to go to work tomorrow because he has the flu and what are the kids supposed to do?

I don’t know. I live 1,200 miles away.

Is anyone dead?

Are they bleeding?

Have they stopped breathing?

Is the house on fire?

Did the dog get loose and pee on a neighbor’s shoe?

Is……………there any other reason to call that won’t wait until I’m at work or at home?

1 Comment »

One Response to “When is the right time to ditch the cell phone?”

Comments

1. Marie Kinne Jul 09 2009 / 1pm

   Steve,
   No wonder why I can’t get a hold of you. I miss the keys and you guys. I love reading your newspaper. Hope to hear from you soon.
   Your friends who were forced to move out of the keys to feed their child. Marie and Kevin Kinne